#like i literally just corrected it there with “times” AND AGAIN WITH TIMES.
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May i request a fluffy chaotic blurb of lionesses teen reader who is from a championship team but is so good that she is called up to play for senior national team and also the reader has multiple offers from various teams , and the players pitch their own team to the reader to join them and it is a chaotic mess
Thank you
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The dressing room is chaos. Full-on, wild-eyed, shouting-over-each-other chaos.
Your kit’s barely off, and you’re sitting on a bench trying to untangle your socks, when it begins. Millie Bright is the first to start.
“Listen, kid,” she says, arms folded across her chest, the captain aura fully activated. “Chelsea’s the only place for you. Champions League football. World-class facilities. Sonia Bompastor. Need I say more?”
From across the room, Ella Toone’s head snaps up, her water bottle mid-squeeze. “Millie, do you ever take a day off? Let the poor girl breathe, she’s not signing anything yet”
Millie ignores her, turning her gaze to you like this is a contract negotiation and she’s about to close the deal. “You want to win trophies, don’t you?”
Before you can reply, Ella’s already marched over, shoving Millie gently out of the way. “United, babe. That’s the real move. We’re on the up, big things happening, and,” she pauses dramatically, glancing around, “we actually have fun. You like fun, yeah?”
You blink, glancing at Leah, who’s perched on a nearby bench with her arms crossed and a smirk forming. She hasn’t joined in yet, but you can see the wheels turning. This is going to get worse before it gets better.
“City’s got the best facilities,” Lauren Hemp chimes in from the corner, casually lacing her boots. She doesn’t even look up, which somehow makes it more intimidating. “And we won’t hound you about it. Just saying”
“Oi!” Ella points a finger at Lauren. “That’s rich coming from you lot. Didn’t you literally FaceTime Keira on her holiday to beg her not to leave?”
“Allegedly,” Lauren says with a shrug, the picture of innocence.
“Arsenal,” Leah says finally, cutting through the chatter like a hot knife through butter. “Tradition, legacy, and the prettiest kits. No contest”
“That’s what you’re going with?” Millie retorts. “Kits?”
“Pretty kits,” Leah corrects, her smirk growing. “And me. Obviously”
“Desperate, Williamson,” Ella mutters under her breath.
You’re still sitting there, socks halfway off, trying not to combust. It’s overwhelming in the funniest, most surreal way. Like you’ve somehow wandered into a football-themed episode of a reality show where every contestant is aggressively charming and mildly competitive.
“Guys, chill,” you finally manage, holding up a hand. “I’m not deciding right now, alright? Let me just—figure out what’s happening first”
“Oh, take your time,” Keira Walsh says, strolling past and dropping her bag onto the bench. “But come to Barça. Better weather”
Georgia nearly falls off her seat laughing. “You’re not even in this league, Walshy. Sit down”
“I am sitting,” Keira deadpans.
The room descends into laughter and bickering again, and you realise something in that moment. It’s not just the offers, or the attention, or the surreal fact that this is your life now. It’s that you’re part of this—this weird, chaotic, beautiful family that’s adopted you overnight.
“Alright,” you say loudly, standing up and finally pulling your socks free. “I’ll think about it. All of it. But for now, someone tell me where the snacks are”
“Chelsea’s got better snacks,” Millie says immediately, earning a chorus of groans and a well-aimed towel to the head.
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Ekko Location
Ekko:*thousand yard stare*….
Caitlyn:(Should I tell him? No, false hope doesn’t do any good. Especially in this case.) *looks left*
Giant mural of Jinx
Caitlyn:….Ekko?
Ekko:What could you possibly want after everything?
Caitlyn:Hopefully, an olive branch. I have to tell you something but you have to promise to not get your hopes up, or tell Vi. This is something I’m trusting with you specifically.
Ekko:And how in the world did I get such an honor?
Caitlyn:Because if it wasn’t for one act of kindness, I’d be in your shoes right now.
Ekko:…What do you have to tell me?
xxxxxx
One month later. Somewhere across the water, in a nice quaint land known for its view of the ocean and mountains, a cloaked girl bobs her head to music as she roams the back alleys streets without a care in her mind.
Jinx: 🎶Do you ever wanna catch me?Right now I'm feeling ignored. *turns corner*
Jinx:So can you try a little harder? I'm really getting bor-
Ekko:*cloaked* !?….
Jinx:…..(Just when I thought I’ve wrangled all the voices. This is a low blow, me.) *closes eyes* (Just gonna breathe in and-)
Ekko:*grabs her wrist*
Jinx’s eyes immediately shoot open to see him right in front of her. She starts looking back, forth, everywhere; her thoughts trying to rationalize this moment because what do you mean he’s real!?
Jinx:Y- wha- how? How!? Fuck everything else. How?
Ekko:Let’s just say someone offered me a little hope. Honestly it was more like wishful thinking.
Jinx:Ekko, that’s not a “how” at all! You left Zaun to chase wishful thinking? That’s alone is crazy, but not as crazy as you actually finding me! I could’ve gone in any direction and stopped anywhere yet somehow you’re right here searching in the correct city? Gasps Did you put something in me?!
Ekko:What? No! Jinx, we used to spend literal hours talking about all the places we wanted go; the sight ls you wanted to see. Sometimes you rambled so much I never got a word in to say mine!
Jinx:So you’re telling you just remembered all that ramble and started flying to the places I yapped about!? Who the heck remembers stuff like that!?
Ekko:Me!! Since when have I ever forgotten anything!? Especially stuff about you!?
The girl was too stunned to speak. Ekko told no lies and he had a point, however, what the hell? How was she supposed to respond to that? She told absolutely nobody that she was leaving and left no trace, yet somehow wishful thinking from probably the world’s most annoying enforcer and childhood memories was enough for Ekko to find her in a little over a month. Jinx could only squint at him in disbelief. Sure, she could definitely break free of grip and make a break for it, yet this moment only gave her the strength to exhale tiredly before him.
Jinx:Anyone else know?
Ekko:Nope. You think people have time to chase hypotheticals?
Jinx:So you just left??
Ekko:Told them I needed some air. Had to move quickly. You don’t exactly stay in one place for long.
Jinx:…..Alright. Out with it. I know you have some rehearsed lecture and rant you’ve prepared in case you actually somehow weren’t crazy and found m-
Ekko:*hugs her* I can tell at you later.
Jinx:You really just might be crazier than me.
Her entire body relaxed as she finally put her arms around him. Despite all odds, he really was right here. Leave it the Boy Savior to yet again foil her schemes.
Jinx:At this point I should call you Ekko Location or something.
Ekko:I this point, I should put a fucking bell on you.
Jinx:I’d still get away.
Ekko:And I’d find you again.
Jinx:Heh, yeah. *hugs tightly* You would, wouldn’t you?
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane headcanon#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#ekkojinx#timebomb#it came to me in a dream#caitlyn kiramman
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would you be willing write bodyguard!ellie x burlesque!reader fic??? or ellie could literally be whatever i have no preference!! 🪲
┆𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐬 - E.W ⋆✴︎˚。⋆₊˚. ᵎᵎ
♯ 𝘪'𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦
𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 !
summary. to become a vedette was the dream of many ⎯ including yourself. unfortunately, though, you learned the hard way that some dreams were meant to remain fanciful. because, once achieved, the reality of such an industry was far from what you'd imagined it to be. as your underground burlesque club rose in popularity, you alongside it, your personal safety began to deteriorate. in an attempt to salvage yourself from the predatory audience, a bodyguard was hired. notes. the way pink won by 1.1% is so funny to me, but pink it is! also! i had no idea what a burlesque dancer was before this. i did tons of research and watched tons of videos, but in no way whatsoever is this historically accurate. burlesque was popular from 1860s-1930s, getting most traction in the 70s. but i'm frankly a bit shitty at history, so i don't really know what the world was like in the 1800s, so i set this oneshot in the 1920s bc i have the most prior knowledge on that time frame. but, again, this is NOT historically correct whatsoever. certain things i mention might not even be invented at that time, the way people talk might be super incorrect, etc etc etc. so pls just have that in mind. warnings. mentions of assault, illegal selling & purchasing of alcohol, depictions of violence and blood, injury, suggestive ending wc. 8.2k
when ellie accepted this job, she hadn't expected to be roped into such deep shit.
she'd envisaged being dragged through shops and taverns with some random rich transient, told to scare off some creeps, then fired once the opulent stranger grew bored of her monotonous company. what she hadn't expected was you ⎯ someone completely ordinary among passerbyers whilst simultaneously being the most powerful and sought after woman come nightfall.
you own a club, you see, having started your business two decembers prior to present. it began small, only a few people visiting due to mere curiosity and rarely returning. struggling to amass a crowd, you became your own patron; you became a burlesque dancer at your own cabernet. this quickly gained the attention of those who dared wander into the debauched street where your club resides. an underground business run by the alluring woman advertised ⎯ what promiscuous standee wouldn't be intrigued? plus, by the time you were making hundreds nightly, you were in too deep to quit as a dancer. those who visited did so for you. to turn only to a business woman was out of the question.
but, as stated, your club was underground and therefore unknown by the average citizens, only spoken of by those sinful enough to indulge. this way, you were a mysteriously rich woman by day and a desirably powerful one by night. it wasn't exactly what you'd intended to become when first creating your business, but you'd be a fool to complain when making such wealth.
however, nothing ignominious lasts long before the reason for such shame rears its beastly head.
and when it did, you were unable to escape unscathed. you'd been cornered in an alley on your way home, pinned to a brick wall by one of your frequent customers, barely having gotten away intact. after landing a solid hit to the back of his skull with a nearby object turned weapon, you staggered the rest of the way home. a bruise was forming on your jaw from the perpetrator's aggression and a small cut was trailing blood down your bicep from your own lack of attention to your surroundings as you'd accidentally scraped yourself on a stone as you ran from the scene. yeah, so, that's when you made the decision that you needed a bodyguard.
when ellie first laid her eyes on you, she recognized you in an instant. see, she'd never been to your burlesque club on her own; she didn't much care for that form of self deprecation. rather, she'd heard your name spoken many times before by disreputable miscreants and seen your face on a few posters in the more shady parts of town.
tonight was her first official night to be spent with you. the two of you had met once or twice beforehand, getting the payments and conditions in check as well as making her sign and NDA for fear of her causing your cabernet to be found. though, she'd never seen your house and you'd never seen hers, the two of you having met in public settings such as bakeries or parks to discuss such matters. it was entirely professional.
but tonight, now that everything has been put in order, she is to accompany you to the bar. you already told her what you expected of her ⎯ blend in with the crowd and keep watch from afar, only intervene if deemed absolutely necessary. yes yes, she replayed the sentence over and over in her head, just to be sure it's cemented into her memory. totally not because she likes to replay the smoothness of your voice nor the gentility of your tone when attempting to speak quietly as to not draw attention. yeah, no. definitely not that.
"fuck, it's cold." she hisses, pulling her coat tighter around her shoulders as the two of you walk down the sidewalk. your sparkly heels click against the concrete with your every step, only visible under the dull illumination of the sparse streetlights. you're wearing a long coat that covers your neck down to your mid-calf, black in color yet thin in efficiency. "i dunno how you're not freezing your ass off, right now." she comments through chattering teeth.
you huff a laugh, "suppose i've grown used to it."
the air is frigid, your breaths coming out in puffed clouds. snow has yet to fall, but it's surely not far from doing so. the night is black, shadows looming over shabby buildings ⎯ venturing from the rich side of town where you live to the more decrepit side of town where law enforcement is thinned and as is people's class. the perfect place for a speakeasy.
you turn down a random alley where streetlights no longer provide a blanket of comfort. ellie trails behind you, entire body shivering as she takes in her foreign surroundings. on either side are sordid buildings, the brick chipped and paint flaking and wood rotting.
the sound of knocking draws her attention back to you, gaze landing on where you now stand at the very end of the alley. she jogs over to you just in time to hear your knocking in a certain pattern on an old wooden door that she hadn't noticed prior. there's not even an exterior handle, the door almost invisible when paired with the darkness of the alley and its similarity to the wall that embodies it.
knock knock, knock. a pause. creaking.
the door opens with a creak, a man's head peeking out the crack. he sets his eyes on you and instantly swings it open fully to allow you entry. you nod at him before sauntering past. ellie continues to trail behind you, though she's stopped when the man holds out an arm across her chest.
his hair is long and greasy, thick brows overhanging deep brown eyes. a miasma of alcohol and cigarettes clouds him in the form of a malodorous aura. ellie's nose crinkles as she scowls at him.
"not you." he says coldly, shoving her back outside into the alley. she staggers backward, the cold air clinging to her. anger licks up her spine at the aggression of his shove, but she buries it as soon as you enter the scene.
"fuck off, george, she works for me." you huff, moving past him to open the door wider for ellie. she glares at george as she passes, entering the cabernet with a distasteful expression. as she walks past the entrance, you remain in the doorway to reprimand your employee. she'd usually mind her business but, seeing as it's her job to be in your business, she remains closeby as you harshly explain the situation him.
ellie looms over you like an intimidating shadow as you rebuke george. she doesn't listen into the conversation, well aware of it not being her concern. still, she watches him closely, daring the man to step a toe out of line. thankfully, he seems to know better.
a few minutes pass before the two of you leave him to enter the cabernet fully. ellie takes in the sight of the place, never having been inside of one before. the floors are wooden and glossy, laid in a diamond pattern. the walls are satin, embedded with intricate golden designs. there are circular tables crowding the space, all faced toward an elevated stage, which ellie assumes is where the burlesque dancers preform. to the left is a bar, a woman behind the counter serving alcohol to a few people ⎯ though there aren't many customers seeing as the star of the show hadn't yet arrived. to the right are bathrooms and dressing rooms for the dancers.
the rest of the night is spent rather normally. you do your job as usual, dancing suggestively whilst telling satire stories to keep the guests entertained. as the night goes on, the tables fill and the bar grows impossibly busy, now needing extra employees to work behind the counter alongside the priorly singular barista.
ellie stands near the back, arms crossed as she watches over the scene. she tries her hardest not to get distracted by you; by the way your hips sway, the way your chest bounces, the way your legs move, the way your voice hums. all things considered, she'd say she did a pretty good job at the attempt. she averted her gaze more times than she can count, but that's to be expected, is it not?
thankfully, nobody tried anything. the drunken guests made lewd comments and lustful expressions, but never tried touching you or anything else out of line.
it's three hours past midnight when you decide it was time to head back home. as the crowd thins out, you retreat to your dressing room. ellie remains in the corner, standing around awkwardly as you exit the stage. she watches the people file out of the tiny door and into the darkened alley, cold air brushing inside via the opened door.
"so," your voice suddenly speaks, tone nigh a drawl. ellie turns her head toward the sound to see you buttoning your chesterfield coat as you approach. you shoot her a grin, "how was it?"
"good." she replies, perhaps a bit too hastily. she blinks a few times before clearing her throat, "it- uh, yeah. it was good."
you chuckle, walking toward the door as she follows behind you. "no need to be such a prude, williams. you sulked in the corner all night like a disciplined child. i just want to make sure you're not having second thoughts concerning your job."
"what?" she questions, head whipping to face you. "no, not at all! i've just never been to a place like this before, that's all. i don't know how to act."
the two of you pass through the doorway, george having held it open for you. the chill of the air traces up your spine, goosebumps coating your skin. you pull your coat tighter around yourself, though you're careful to not appear too cold as to avoid ellie's concern.
"well, if you'd like, i can help you in that endeavor." you say.
"help me?" she narrows her eyes in inquiry. "in making me feel less awkward?"
"in teaching you how to act." you correct with an amused expression, turning a corner. ellie's brows furrow, urging you digress. "look, there are tons of ways to blend in with everyone else. first of all, try looking a bit less flustered when seeing the dancers strip. second, uncross your arms for it makes you look displeased. third, sit down. you were standing against the wall the whole time and it's unnatural. just take a seat, buy a drink, and enjoy yourself."
she frowns, "easier said than done."
"you act like you've never seen a woman nude, williams." you say with a laugh. "maybe get a bit tipsy before the show and you'll feel more at ease, yeah?"
"i'm not allowed to be drunk on the job." she tells you. "i'm supposed to stay alert in the case of something happening."
you let out a sigh, carbon dioxide exiting visibly. "you won't be drunk, you'll just be a bit tipsy. plus, if you sit in the front, you'll be able to get to me quicker. that way, even if you're a bit disoriented, you'll have the upper hand in proximity's case."
ellie thinks on this for a moment, weighing her options. on one hand, she knows that bodyguard are not supposed to drink, smoke, or do anything else that could impair their ability to do their job. but on the other, you're the one pulling the strings here; she technically works for you. and you're asking her to drink. so, in a certain sense of things, who would she be to decline you?
"fine." she gives in. "but if anything happens to you and i'm too fucking wasted to help, i'll never forgive myself. or you."
you laugh, patting her arm lightly, "oh c'mon, i trust you'll be able to help me even if you're a bit drunk. also, nobody will do anything during the show. it's the before and after that we have to worry about; the spooky walk home in the dark."
she purses her lips at this, suddenly made aware of your guys' surroundings. you're walking along the same sidewalk you'd taken to get to the cabernet, your heels clicking with each step just as they had before. the streetlamps provide a dim yellow glow, but that's it. the moon is naught but a skinny crescent and the stars are rather dull. she'd been on edge, of course she had. but now that it's been spoken aloud to her attention, she's been made extra aware of it.
the rest of the walk back to your house was spent in easy conversation and light laughter. she glanced over her shoulder every few minutes, but nobody was ever behind you.
and, before long, the two of you've reached your destination ⎯ no longer surrounded by the shady alleys near your club, but now surrounded by huge mansions and cars, your own home among them.
"do you want me to walk you inside?" ellie offers as you fumble with your key to unlock your front door, your fingers too cold to operate fully. she notices, but says nothing on the matter.
"i can walk though my own house, williams." you laugh. "but thank you."
she nods, holding the door open for you once you've managed to get it unlocked. you give her a grateful smile before entering and she shuts the door behind you. as it clicks shut, she huffs out a breath.
standing on the porch of your mansion, she can't help but feel out of place here. not due to wealth but to merit. with a sigh, she turns on her heel and leaves your porch, descending the steps and beginning to walk down the sidewalk once more.
on her walk to her own house, she can't stop replaying the night over and over in her head ⎯ the sound of your laughter under the moonlight, the sight of your skin being teased to the audience. there's just something about you that she can't get out of her fucking head. it's only been one night and you've managed to drive her insane.
the following night is spent in a similar fashion. walking together to the cabernet, laughing and talking the whole way there, knocking a certain pattern on the decrepit wooden door, having to remind george that ellie is now allowed inside without payment.
"okay," you say, undoing the top button of your chesterfield coat as ellie trails behind you into the club. nobody else is here yet, the two of you having arrived earlier to make sure ellie can get front seats. "i'm heading back to the dressing rooms. while i do, you can go get a drink or two and sit down, yeah?"
"yeah." she's quick to agree with a nod.
"perfect," you smile, slipping your coat off your shoulders. ellie averts her eyes, cheeks suddenly feeling warm. you huff a laugh, "see you in a bit, williams."
with that, you walk over to the dressing rooms, disappearing behind a beaded doorway. now alone in the center of an empty club, ellie sighs before sauntering over to the bar. she perches atop a wooden stool, the fabric of its seat a thin velvet. she places her elbows on the shiny countertop, resting her chin in her palm.
she takes in the sight of the bottles behind the counter and the low lighting of the bar in general. despite it's prohibition, it's not rare to see alcohol. nobody really abides the law when it comes to intoxication. what's uncommon is to see so much of it. not only is it crazy expensive to buy booze nowadays, but it's also easier to be tracked down and apprehended for it if you have so much.
after a few minutes of wait, a barista eventually rounds the corner, approaching ellie with an apologetic expression. her fiery red hair catches the light, pale skin even paler as she rushes to tend to the customer. "i'm so sorry, ma'am." she rushes out while still tying her apron behind her waist. "i hadn't a clue someone would arrive so early."
"it's fine," ellie assures her, "i don't mind waiting if you need some more time to get ready."
"that's very kind of you." she smiles. "but no, i needn't more time."
ellie shrugs, accepting her response. she then turns back to looking at the bottles that line the wall behind the barista. "can i get the gin rickey?"
"of course." the ginger smiles before turning around to grab a bottle of gin alongside a glass from under the counter. she mixes the drink, adding lime juice and club soda before sliding it across the countertop.
see, ellie doesn't go out drinking often. especially not after the ban of alcohol, as it became harder to find. but she knows that gin rickey is a rather common drink within speakeasies, the taste and convenience of the drink making them quite popular at this time. so, she assumed it wouldn't hurt to see what was so great about it. and, needless to say, she comes to enjoy it.
as the club begins to fill up with guests, she decides it's time to take her seat in the front. ellie ends up having about three more drinks before taking a fourth to go, sauntering over to a table closest to the stage. the circular table is covered with a cream white cloth, the chair wooden with the same velvet cushion as the barstools.
there, she continues to sip on her drink as she awaits your arrival.
she feels her eyelids begin to weigh down a bit, her shoulders feeling uncharacteristically heavy. she recalls the conversation from last night and the way she had to remind you that she couldn't be too drunk on the job. she ends up having to remind herself of the same thing, telling herself that this is the last drink she'll be having for the night ⎯ enough to be more at ease as you'd requested, yet not too much that she feels unable to tend to you if needed. a perfect level.
people crowd the cabernet as it grows darker outside, guests rushing to the bar to get a free stool before they're all taken, then staggering over to an empty table once they're well inebriated.
when the first dancer walks onto the stage, the crowd cheers. she does a few dances, tells a few jokes, takes off her top, and then rotates for the next dancer to come forward. to ellie, it feels rather quick. but when she checks the grandfather clock against the wall, it'd apparently taken the dancer about half an hour before she leaves the stage.
the next dancer is a blonde woman who winks at ellie when she first comes out. the man behind ellie cheers loudly, almost making her go deaf with his boisterous assumption of the woman's favor. she does a more sensual dance than the woman prior to her, taking off her skirt and top, tossing them out to the crowd. she remains in her bra and panties, both of which are adorned with gems that twinkle in the spotlight.
ellie's instincts are to look away, to avert her gaze as to be respectful. but she recalls the way you'd made fun of her for doing so last night, calling her a prude. her cheeks heat as her mind traitorously reminds her of the sound of your laughter. evidently, the blonde dancer on the stage takes her blush as being directed toward her and she shoots her another wink, which leads to the man behind her cheering loudly again. ellie curse herself for the series of events and the way they'd played out so easily despite their involuntary origin.
as the blonde woman walks off the stage, she give one last wink in ellie's direction. she blows her a kiss, waving with her fingers before disappearing behind the curtains. the man behind her goes absolutely insane, ellie's ears ringing from his noisiness. she sucks in a breath, hoping this mistake doesn't lead to anything adverse.
the next and final person to take the stage is you.
the crowd goes crazy, you being the most popular vedette among all burlesque dancers in this city. they clap and cheer and whoop as you just smile and wave, heels clacking in that familiar pattern that reminds ellie of her walks with you. her face is suddenly heating up again. she curses herself mentally, picking up her glass and taking a long sip from her drink in hopes of the rim covering her reddened cheeks.
you move languidly, almost fluid in your leisure. your body shifts with ease, dancing in a sensual peace. your heels click, your hips sway, your hair cascades. everything about you is reeling ellie in, alluring and captivating yet seductive and lewd. she can't seem to tear her eyes away, memorizing every inch of your body as one would adore a piece of art. she takes in your body as though its made of brush strokes and paint and it could vanish in an instant.
you remove your top in one swift movement, pulling the fabric over your head and allowing it to fall to the floor with a gentle brush. the crowd cheers and ellie is painfully reminded that she's not the only one in here. though your chest remains covered by a frilly bra, she feels a weight in her belly at the sharp reminder ⎯ an aching possessiveness that yearns to be special, to be the only one to see you this way.
your eyes meet hers, something passing between you. something sharp and steady and intimate. something striking in its rarity. though, just as fast as it'd happened, it's gone. you turn away, shifting your gaze over the crowd as you continue to sway and oscillate.
ellie takes another swig of her drink, hoping to swallow down her rising emotions. hoping to drown them.
before she even realizes it, the clock strikes three and you're disappearing off the stage with a flourish. the crowd cheers as you walk away, whistling and whooping.
they all begin to slowly file out of the club once it's made aware that the show is over, taking their loud voices with them. of course, ellie doesn't follow suit. she stays seated, swirling the last drop of her drink around in her glass. she watches the liquid swish around, her drunken mind easily entertained by the sight.
when she hears footsteps exit the dressing room, she assumes it's you and turns around with a grin. her face quickly falls when she sees the blonde dancer from earlier walking up to her with a suggestive smirk.
"waiting for someone?" she questions, eyes glinting with a hint of lust.
"uh, yeah." ellie replies, far too awkward and drunk to think of something clever to say in response. her cheeks heat with embarrassment, though the blonde is quick to take it wrong.
"no need to be so flustered." she coos, walking over to where ellie remains seated. she places her hand on the table in front of ellie, leaning down so their faces are mere inches apart. in a gentle croon, she says, "i don't bite."
"well," ellie leans back a little to put distance between them, "i'm not-"
"ruth, leave her alone." your voice comes from the other side of the room, the sound of your heels serving as a bit of familiar comfort to ellie. the blonde woman lifts her head, expression falling when she sees you approaching.
"mind your business." the blonde ⎯ whose name ellie has gathered to be ruth ⎯ groans. "must you steal every person i show interest in?"
ellie opens her mouth to intervene, ready to say something to ease the nigh palpable tension in the air. but you beat her to it, not having noticed ellie's futile attempt to interrupt.
you roll your eyes, still buttoning the top buttons of your coat. "first of all, i've never stolen someone from you because i frankly don't give a shit. second, that poor woman is clearly not interested in you."
"don't speak for her when you don't even know her." ruth frowns, placing her hands on her hips. "and yes she is interested."
"how about you let her choose then." you suggest, crossing your arms after gesturing to ellie with raised brows. "maybe, for once, let the person you're bothering have a say in this."
"fine." ruth snaps, practically fuming at this point. despite her anger, she turns to ellie pleadingly. "tell her."
ellie almost feels bad for ruth. despite the way you'd insinuated that she has a history of not asking for people's opinions on matters such as these, she feels a bit guilty. she'd blushed at ruth multiple times ⎯ though they'd all happened to be unrelated. anyone would be able to get the wrong impression in ruth's position.
"listen, i'm just a bodyguard." ellie says carefully, holding her hands up in defense. "i'm not trying to sleep with anyone. i'm just⎯"
"bodyguard?" ruth mutters, brows furrowing. she glances between you and ellie, the dots slowly connecting. her lip then raises in disgusted rage. "what the fuck!? you hired a goddam bodyguard!"
"i was getting followed home." you explain, equally irritated though you attempt keep your tone calm.
"so just because you're the most fucking popular, you think your safety is more important than any of the other dancers!?" ruth seethes.
"don't put words in my mouth, asshole." you shoot back. "you can hire any bodyguard you fucking want, nobody's stopping you. it's not my fault i thought of it first and you happened to be fucking horny for who i hired."
as you and ruth continue to argue back and forth, the tension steadily rises higher and higher. ellie watches with wide eyes, trying to determine when exactly she should get involved. but, at the same time, you and ruth appear to have been working together for quite a long time, maybe this was an inevitable argument she should let happen? maybe she's just drunk and thinks that it's worse than it is? yeah. she leans back, settling with her decision to allow the two of you to just fight it out. it'll be good for you to⎯
her thoughts are interrupted when ruth snatches up ellie's glass and breaks it on the side of the table, the lip of it now a pointed blade that she holds out at you. it's sharp, the glass fully able to cut through skin if needed.
"ruth.." you breathe, holding your hands up in surrender. "ruth, just calm down..."
at the sound of glass breaking and your shaky voice, ellie is suddenly on her feet, putting herself between you and ruth. she holds an arm across your chest, acting as a human shield.
"get out of my fucking way." ruth snaps. "i don't wanna hurt you, just the cocky bitch you're protecting."
"put the glass down." ellie demands, voice suddenly lowered a few octaves.
the baristas are long gone, having left the club alongside the rest of the guests a good twenty minutes ago. the only person in here except for the three of you is george. he watches from the doorway, eyes wide and shoulders tense. he can't call the cops or the cabernet will be found out and promptly shut down. and he knows better than to get involved. so he's simply forced to watch from afar, poor guy.
ruth glares at ellie, sidestepping in an attempt to get to you. but ellie moves in unison, remaining in her way. ruth curses, jaw clenched. ellie holds you close to her, your chest flush against her back as she holds you by the wrist, her other arm out to ruth in a calming gesture which mirrors one that'd be used when approaching a feral animal.
"fuck you!" ruth spits at ellie, lower lips trembling. her grip on the glass shakes as well, though she remains holding it tightly. "i thought someone fucking liked me! for once, i thought someone would take interest in me! but no. no, i should've known. as always, you were more interested in her!"
"look, i understand you're mad, just⎯"
ellie's words are interrupted by ruth surging forward and stabbing the sharp end of the glass into ellie's thigh, yanking it back out and tossing the bloody glass to the floor.
ellie buckles over in pain, blood seeping down the leg of her pants. when she looks back up, ruth is already across the room, shoving past george as she runs from the scene. george is frozen in place, lips parted as he glances between ellie's bloody form and ruth's depleting one.
"fuck," you mutter, eyes wide as you move to pull out a chair for ellie to sit in. you hold onto her shoulders, helping to ease her into the seat. "fuckfuckfuck."
"calm down," ellie says between heavy breaths. her chest is heaving, her hand keeping pressure on the wound. despite the pain, she stares up at you with blown pupils and parted lips. "take a deep breath, i'm fine."
you shake your head, completely ignoring ellie's attempts to calm you. god, you can't fucking believe her right now. a shard of glass is on the floor, covered in her blood and here she is insisting she's fine. trying to keep you calm. you squeeze your eyes shut, pacing in circles as you try to formulate some sort of plan.
you can't call the police or your club will be revealed. but you also can't go home, wandering the streets with a girl bleeding out on your back. fuck. no matter what you do, it's incriminating.
your pacing ceases as an idea pops into your head.
"george." you call out over your shoulder. the man lifts his head, entire face having gone pale from the sight of all that's happened in front of him. "in the dressing room, under the vanity, there's a first aid kit. bring it to me."
george nods quickly, staggering away from his place by the door and heading toward the dressing room as asked. with him now gone to get the med kit, you turn back to ellie. you crouch down in front of her, your hands shaking as you reach forward to remove her own hand from the wound to examine its severity.
blood soaks her pants, almost coating her entire thigh crimson. the material is torn where the glass was inserted, showing where her skin is sliced right open. right across the muscle.
"okay," you breathe shakily, pressing your palm against the injury to prevent too much bloodloss. "okay, um-"
"calm down," she murmurs again, voice a bit groggy. "look, i'm fine. once george comes back with the med kit, i can patch myself up and i'll walk you home. how's that sound?"
"what!? no!" you shake your head at her incredulously. "no, i got you into this mess. the least i can do is help."
"but you don't have to." she insists. "i can stitch myself just fine, and-"
"ellie, shut the fuck up." you snap, her eyes widening at your sudden harsh tone. not only that but the sound of her first name leaving your lips makes her chest flutter. you shake your head, unaware of the bodily reaction you engendered. "i'll stitch you up, then i'll find some place for us to stay. somewhere nearby that won't ask a million questions."
"uh," she blinks, trying to remember what you guys passed on your journey here, trying her best to do something to help. "wait, yeah. i think saw a motel not too far from here. a block or two down the road, maybe?"
"oh, yes. perfect!" you grin up at her. "i know exactly what you're talking about. i know the owner, too. we might not even have to pay if i promise him free drinks."
ellie's face flushes at the sight of your smile. the combination of everything is getting to her. her inebriation, the feel of your hand on her thigh, the sight of your beaming smile. yeah, she's in fucking heaven.
it's a few minutes later when george returns with the med kit, his hands shaking slightly as he nears you and ellie. his widened eyes appear to be nigh incapable of looking away from her bloodied leg. he swallows harshly before placing the kit on the tabletop.
you offer him a soft smile, grabbing the kit from the surface. you open it as you speak. "thank you, george. you can go home now, if you'd like. get some rest."
"okay." he nods, frankly a bit frantic. "okay, just⎯ just let me know if you need anything, yeah?"
"yeah, of course." you assure him, watching as he rushes to leave the building, pulling on his coat as he shoves the door open. once it closes behind him, you turn back to ellie and the med kit.
one of your hands remains on ellie's thigh, keeping pressure on the open gash. the other pulls the kit into you lap, cracking it open before you sift through the contents. you can feel every movement ellie makes, every shift or wince or twitch. despite the situation being far less than ideal, it all feels oddly intimate. to be so close, to see her in such a vulnerable way. especially when you're now the only two people in the club. you shake your head to rid your mind of the thoughts clouding it.
you pull out a tube of antibiotic ointment, struggling to twist off the cap with one hand. ellie notices your struggle and leans forward, having to bury a wince as she does so.
"here," she says, placing one of her hands over yours as she takes the ointment from your grasp. she pops it open before handing it back to you. "no need to be so independent, you can ask me to open one measly tube."
"i don't want to ask you anything." you grumble, squeezing a drop of the ointment onto your forefingers. "you're wounded, let me do the work."
"you're acting like i lost a limb," she says with an airy chuckle, making you frown. "i have a cut on my thigh. i can still use my hands."
you remove your hand from the wound and begin to dab the ointment onto the reddened skin around it. ellie shivers, but says nothing. if anything, this should feel good. it's supposed to ease the pain and allow the injury to heal faster. as you continue to coat the gash in the ointment, you glance up at her. "maybe i'm not dramatic and you're just too calm, ever consider that?"
"there's no such thing as too calm." she defends herself, feigning a sense of untouchable pride.
you huff out a laugh, "oh shut up."
ellie can't help the way her eyes are pinned to your face, her pale green eyes studying every expression that grazes your features. every dip or crevice of your skin, every furrow of your brow, every twitch of your lips; she memorizes it all. and when you laugh? oh, when you laugh she swears her heart stops beating.
you twist the ointment closed, placing it back in the kit before digging through it for some bandages. you find a roll of gauze, frowning as you'd hoped to find a patch instead. but you can't complain too much as you're lucky to even have a first aid kit at all. in fact, you only bought one because one of the baristas sliced their hand open a few weeks ago and george insisted that it'd be a good idea to at least own bandaids. so, had this happened last month, ellie would have been fucked.
"okay," you mutter as you turn back to ellie, suddenly noticing her staring. you narrow your eyes at her playfully. "what is it?"
her cheeks burn bright red, blinking as she averts her gaze to look at something random on the wall over your head. "nothing, i just⎯ i really like that statue."
you raise a brow, glancing over your shoulder to follow her gaze. when you see the nude statue she was referring to, you almost laugh. it's a naked man, his legs spread seductively, his abs so sharp that it's literally impossible for a human to obtain. you turn back to her, her cheeks now even more red than before.
"fuck," she breathes, hanging her head between her shoulders in embarrassment.
you laugh, "you really like that statue, huh?"
"shut up." she groans, holding her face in her hands. "i wasn't even looking at that statue, i didn't know it was a naked dude."
you begin to unravel the gauze as you continue to tease her. you're well aware that ellie was staring at you. and the only reasons she'd try to hide that fact is if she either didn't mean to or if she's into you. and, as someone who's hit on almost daily, you're pretty skilled at noticing when someone likes you. and ellie has a bad crush. its kinda cute, so you decide to act oblivious, just to see how many lies she can make up.
"well, if you weren't looking at the state, what were you looking at?" you ask her, tilting your head to feign innocent curiosity.
"uh," she sputters, her cheeks so hot that it's painful. you raise your brow, urging her to respond. you notice that the tips of her ears are red as well and you almost feel guilty for teasing her like this. "i don't⎯"
"it's fine, ellie," you chuckle, tearing the gauze to have a long strip in your hand. "i'm just picking on you."
"oh. yeah. right." she nods, mentally cursing herself.
you glance back down at the gauze in your hand, shifting it around so it's ready to wrap around. you look back up at ellie before placing one hand under her knee and lifting it a bit. she winces and your heart clenches, "i know, i'm sorry, i just need to⎯"
"quit that," she murmurs, placing her own hand under her knee and pulling it a bit higher up so you can wrap the gauze around her thigh. "quit apologizing. you're helping me, there's nothing to be sorry for."
"for hurting you." you grumble, wrapping the gauze around her thigh thrice before tying it off onto itself and she eases her leg back down onto the chair.
"you're not hurting me," she chuckles. "my leg is hurting me. not you."
you laugh, "so now you're personifying your leg? how much did you drink?"
"hey, i'm trying to comfort you." she defends herself. "i'm not even drunk anymore. getting stabbed in the thigh sobered me up quite a bit, y'know."
you laugh again and ellie finds herself drowning in the wave of emotions that overcomes her. you're like a fucking tsunami of feelings, like an entire ocean coming to wash her away after having constructed a dam to keep them in. regardless of the prior amount, you're enough to overflow it. to take her by surprise and fucking waterboard her with your easy perfection.
"you're doing it again." you say, standing up from your crouched position. ellie looks up at you, her eyes following your every movement as though by instinctive impulse.
"doing what?" she asks dumbly.
you chuckle, holding your hand out to help her to her feet. "staring at the naked dude statue."
"oh no, please don't make that a thing." she groans.
"it's already a thing, baby." you respond as she takes your hand to aid her in hauling herself up. the sound of the nickname is enough to make her head spin, even more than it already is from having stood up so abruptly. her cheeks burn and you fucking love it. seeing ellie blush is your favorite way to see her; considering how stoic and indifferent she usually is, to see her flustered like this is surreal. and to be able to do it so easily, too? yeah.
ellie drapes an arm over your shoulders, using you as a crutch as the two of you stagger toward the door. you push it open with a boisterous creak, the frigid air stinging your cheeks and hands instantly. but the coldness isn't what shocks you. it's the small flakes of ice that dust through the air.
"it's snowing," you murmur, staring up at the starry sky in awe. a smile warms your features in spite of the chill. "oh, i've always loved the snow."
ellie, frankly, has never much cared for the snow. but the moment she sees you looking up at it like this, she can't help but see the beauty in it; rather the beauty that stands in it. but still, regardless of witticism, she ends up adoring the snow from this day on, the sparkly elegance of the flakes alluring against the biting shivery it induces. the way one is only able to within it for short increments almost adds to its magnetism, making one yearn for more whilst simultaneously rushing to be out of it.
the two of you saunter down the sidewalk toward the nearby inn you'd discussed priorly. ellie leans on you heavily, her limp slowing you down so it almost takes half an hour to walk two blocks. but, once you two finally arrive at the motel, the results are just as you'd hoped.
the innkeeper, once having recognized you, agrees to not ask questions nor to make you pay in exchange for a week of free alcohol at your cabernet. with that, he passes you a key and assigns you two a shared room down the hall.
the inn is old and dilapidated. the floorboards creak with each step, the windows are all stained and foggy, the wallpaper is torn and chipped in placed, cobwebs lining the corners and walls. but the room is, at least, a bit better than all else. there's a small dusty bed in one corner a dresser in the other. a small window files moonlight into the space, a chipped wooden nightstand to the side of the bed. you help to ease ellie onto the bed, the mattress creaking under her weight.
she tips her head back with a sigh, muscles relaxing against the mattress as she finds herself rather grateful to be able to rest her limbs.
"how's your leg?" you ask her tentatively, standing to the side of the bed wearing a weary expression. you're unsure on how to go about this; do you make jokes as to carry on with the usual badinage or do you take this seriously because she's fucking injured?
ellie glances up, the gentility of your voice almost foreign. when she sees your evident trepidation, she softens and pats the empty space on the mattress beside her. "who's the awkward one now?"
you huff out a laugh, "still you."
you step forward, the floor creaking noisily under your feet. though, if you found the floorboards to be clamorous, the bed is even worse. the mattress squeaks under you, springs poking through the thin material so you can feel them under your butt and thighs. it's extremely uncomfortable, but you say nothing.
ellie watches you closely, her eyes sharp and steady. once you're sitting beside her, your posture awkwardly straightened, she can't help but stare. you're still wearing your heels and frilly burlesque clothes, but your black overcoat shields the attire completely. but she knows what resides underneath and she almost aches to know of it.
"i'm never drinking alcohol again." ellie groans before flopping backward, the bed announcing her every movement. her legs remain hanging off the side, as she lands on her back, auburn hair splayed across the dusty duvet.
"how much did you even have?" you question, leaning back on your hand to loom over her face. "you didn't seem that drunk to me."
"four glasses of gin rickey." she says, narrowing her eyes as she attempts to do the math in her head to puzzle out the percentage. in the end, she gives up and just gazes up at you. "i just wish i was sober for your performance."
your cheeks suddenly feel hot at the insinuation. "it wasn't even that good."
"are you kidding?" she scoffs, in genuine disbelief at your statement. "you were fucking amazing tonight. literally all i could think was 'god, i wish i was sober so she wasn't so goddamn blurry'."
"seriously?" you laugh, unintentionally leaning a bit closer as you're caught up in the incredulous humor of her statement. despite your lack of attention, the act doesn't go unnoticed by ellie. every nerve in her body ignites as your face inadvertently grows nearer, her instincts screaming at her to reach out and touch you; nothing lustful about it, just the pure need to hold you. to be near you.
as your laughter dies down, you notice how close the two of you are. your breath hitches, but you don't move away. ellie looks so perfect like this, under you with her pupils all blown and her hair all unkempt. you find yourself staring at her.
"naked dude statue?" she whispers, the inside joke only adding to the intimacy of the moment.
you nod, eyes flicking between her eyes and her lips. in a whisper, you confirm, "naked guy statue."
honestly, looking back on it, that's a quite strange thing to say before kissing someone for the first time. but then again, nothing about yours and ellie's relationship is necessarily normal. she's your bodyguard and you're an esteemed stripper who sells illegal alcohol, for god's sake. not to mention, it's your second day of knowing each other and ellie has been stabbed with a shard of broken glass via your insane coworker.
but the details hardly matter in the moment of it. because everything else blurs when your lips meet hers, the entire world suddenly gone quiet. it begins gentle, her mouth barely moving as though she's scared to do something wrong. but once the two of you find a mutual rhythm, you're grabbing her face and shifting atop her.
she remains sprawled across the bed as you straddle her hips, knees placed on either side of her body. the kiss ventures farther from unsure benign and closure to vehement desperation. you cradle her face in your hands, her own hands coming up to hold you by the hips.
the flow is suddenly interrupted when you try to shift more comfortably, completely clouded by desire that you don't notice your weight being pressed against her wound. ellie's grip on your hips tightens, the kiss breaking as she yanks her head back in a wince. your eyes widen in realization, guilt gripping you by the throat.
"fuck," you breathe, instantly moving to get off of her, "i'm so sorry."
"no." she says, almost pleadingly. she's still holding you by the hips when she sits up and attempts to guide you back on top of her. "no, i'm fine. don't stop."
your brows furrow. you hurt her, you were so caught up in the moment that you caused her pain. and yet, here she is, just as needy as you in spite of the pain. fucking ellie williams, everyone. laughter bubbles in your chest as you give in, returning to your place atop her lap.
"what?" her cheeks are burning bright red. "are you laughing at me?"
you're still giggling when you press a kiss to her lips, "you're just so perfect."
she's still confused, but doesn't much care for answers when you're kissing her like this. so she simply nods, feigning cognizance as she pulls you impossibly closer to her.
it's just as she reaches to unbutton your coat when the door swings wide open and the innkeeper comes sweeping in, the poor old man unaware. "oh, i forgot to⎯" his words are cut off when he realizes what he'd just walked in on. you and ellie both turn to look at him.
you're sitting on her lap, one of her hands on your chest as the other is on your hip. it's no mistaking what was going on here. the elderly innkeeper curses, covering his eyes before promptly exiting the room and shutting the door behind him, his previous reason for entry completely forgotten.
you and ellie stare at the closed door wordlessly for a split second, only for the silence to be ended by you bursting into laughter. you turn back to ellie, laughing your ass off as she soon joins in. you press your forehead to hers, eyes shut as you struggle to catch your breath. her eyes, on the other hand, remain wide open as she stares at you, admiring the scene before her ⎯ the ambiance of a moonlit motel room, the sound of your melodic laughter, the feel of your body on her lap, the sight of your smile and shut eyes. fucking hell.
when ellie accepted this job, she hadn't expected to be roped into such deep shit. and by 'deep shit' she means falling in love with a vedette.
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 perm. taglist @luvsturniolo @kasqnxx @xlovla @ilovewomenfr @zzombiegirl @shawangel @defnoteleonor @fatbootymuncher
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 fic taglist @prettygirlfemme @bartshart @autisticintr0vert @mellifluousgirll @jastoo46 @femmepoet
#vxsellie !#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#burlesque dancer#dividers#lesbian#sapphic#wlw#hozier#dinner and diatribes#the last of us#video games#tlou game#tlou2#tlou#tlou fanfiction
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Okay, guys, after reading a post by @centrally-unplanned I just took that ACX "AI Turing Test" that Scott Alexander did, and I am screaming, as the kids used to say.
You guys are way, way overthinking this.
I thought I would do better than average, and I guess I did; excluding three pictures I had seen before, I got 31/46 correct.
Not great if you're taking the SAT, but I feel like if I could call a roulette spin correctly 2 times out of 3 I could clean up in Vegas.
So, what is the secret of my amazing, D+ performance?
You have to look at the use of color and composition as tools to draw the eye to points of interest.
AI is really bad at this, when left to its own devices.
For example, here:
Part of the reason to suspect that this is AI is the "AI house style" and the bad hands that I literally only noticed right this exact second as I was typing this sentence. Even if the hands were rendered correctly, I would still clock this as AI.
The focal point of this piece ought to be the face of the woman and the little dragon she is looking at (Just noticed the dragon's wings don't match up either), but take off your glasses or squint at this for a second:
Your eye is being drawn by the bright gold sparkles on the lower right side of the piece. That particular bright gold is only in that spot on the image, but there's no reason to look there, it's just an upper arm and an elbow. The bright light source highlighting the woman's horn separates it out as a point of interest.
Meanwhile, the weird aurora streaming out of the woman's face on the left side means that it is blending in with the background.
In other words, the way the image is composed, and the subject matter suggest that your eye should be drawn here:
But the use of color suggests that you should look here:
That's a senseless place to draw the eye towards! It would be a really weird mistake for a human to make! In fact, I think there's a strong argument that the really close cropped picture of the face of the character is a strong improvement. It's still not a particularly good composition, but at least the color contrast now draws the eye to the proper points.
In fact, I would say that a good reason for my performance not being even better was this alarming statement at the start of the test:
I've tried to crop some pictures of both types into unusual shapes, so it won't be as easy as "everything that's in DALL-E's default aspect ratio is AI".
Uh...
So how about this one:
This is a lot better anatomically and in terms of the use of color and light to draw the eye towards sensible parts of the painting. The lighting makes pretty good sense in terms of coming from a particular direction and it also draws the eye to effectively to the face and the outstretched hand of the figure.
It's also a really flat and meaningless composition and subject matter that no renaissance artist would have chosen. What is this angel doing, exactly? Our eye is drawn to the face and hand, and the figure is looking off towards the left side, at, uh, what exactly?
But then I thought, "Well, maybe Scott chopped out a giant chunk of the picture, and this is just a detail from, like, the lower right eighth of some giant painting with three other figures that makes total sense"
This makes sense as a piece of a larger human made artwork, but if you tell me, "Nope, that's the whole thing and this is the original, un-cropped picture" I'd go, "Oh, AI, obviously.
All of the ones I had trouble with were AI art with good composition and use of color, and human ones with bad composition and use of color. For example, this one:
This has three solid points of interest arranged in an interesting relationship with different colors to block them out. I'd say the biggest tells are that the astronauts' feet are out of frame, which is a weird choice, and looking closely now, the landscape and smoke immediately to the right of the ship don't really make sense.
But again; I had to think, "Maybe Scott just cropped it weird and they had feet in the original picture."
Here's another problem:
StableDiffusion being bad at composition is such a known problem that there are a variety of tools which a person can use to manually block out the composition. In fact, let me try something.
I popped open Krita (Which now has a StableDiffusion plugin) and after literally dozens of generations and a couple of different models I landed on ZavyChromaXL with the following prompt:
concept art of two astronauts walking towards a spaceship on an alien planet, with a giant moon in th background, artstation, classic scifi, book cover
And this was the best I could do:
Not great, but Krita has a tool that lets you break an image into regions which each have different prompts, so I quickly blocked something out:
Each of those color blobs has a different part of the prompt, so the green region has "futuristic astronauts" the blue is the spaceship, the orange is the moon, grey is the ground and pink is the sky, which gives us:
Still way too much, so we can use Krita's adaptive patch tool and AI object removal to get:
I'm not saying it's high art, or even any good, but it's better than the stuff I was getting from a pure prompt, because a human did the composition.
But it's still so dominated by AI processes that it's fair to call it "AI Art".
Which makes me wonder how many of the AI pictures I called out as human made because one of the traits I was looking for, good composition, was in fact, actually made by a human.
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Cass’ literal deaths
I feel like people don’t bring up a lot of things in Cass’ story that I find really interesting so I’m gonna talk about them because there are a surprisingly minuscule amount of fics about them (these are all mainly from her 2000s run cause it’s her longest and also I’m newgen and haven’t caught up yet)
Most of these are gonna be about death and stuff mainly cause they’re the hardest ones to find stuff on.
ps I apologise If this is rambley and makes no sense or isn’t correct (which I will apologise for every 2 seconds) Cassandra Cain is my favourite one and my newest hyper fixation. (Further apology for if this makes no sense for her character at any point (newgen and im shit at characterisation)) also I wrote this at like 2am
First up Cass’ death wish she had in batgirl, I know she’s grown from it since 20 years ago but it was still a massive part of her character that people seem to ignore (correct me if I’m wrong again I’m newgen and I haven’t properly read any of the new verse stuff yet) It’s not like it’s not interesting either, the guilt she feels for her kill is so important to her character. Side tangent but I feel like it wouldn’t be ignored if Damian (or any of the other batfam members) felt so guilty about killing he was willing to be literally suicidal about it (Again if this happens and it gets ignored forgive me, I’ve been here like 2 weeks)
next victim is the fact Cass has literally died twice and I rarely see it brought up, even in cannon they just completely forget about it half the time. I mainly bring this up because A. The angst potential is unmatched and B. She literally took a dip in the Lazarus pit!! like trying to find any content at all about Cass’ fun swim in the lazzy pit is like trying to find lost media. And trust me as someone who loves angst and also cass I have been scouring. And it’s not like people don’t like the lazzy pits (cough cough jason) either!!
Also Cass literally has a whole brother (mad dog) and I’ve seen him mentioned like twice ever.
In conclusion, Cass’ story is unmatched and people should write more angst about her relationship with death because pretty please and also DC hates Cass.
#black bat#batgirl#orphan#cassandra cain#cass cain#batfam#batfamily#lazarus pit#Put some respect on my girl cassandra and her many angst opportunities#pretty please
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Getting re-obsessed over Two Embers cause it was supposed to be out by now.
#i think it was at least#i was reading about a possible release date for it and i read “March” and “2024” and got mad#I WANT MY CANON LORE AND I WANT IT NOW#i am also desperate for my hcs to be right and everyone else's to be wrong but not in an asshole way#but in an “i told you so” way except i have not told a single soul about literally anything about what i think happened#im just mysterious like that#and apparently dyslexic like ive had to correct my spelling 70 times omg#like i literally just corrected it there with “times” AND AGAIN WITH TIMES.#absolute yapper if im given the chance my god#im so off topic#anyways I was ranting about Two Embers to my Mam who didn't understand a thing I was saying bc shes not with the times#and somehow i ended up ranting about how i hated how humiliatingly different the original Demeter's Hymn is to the “feminist retellings” are#because how dare u change such a sad story about a mother losing her daughter and not being able to do anything about into some love story?#like the disrespect people have to retell ot as feminist when you are being the exact opposite of that with what you're doing!!!!!!#How Dare You!!!!!!#off topic again#sky cotl#two embers
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Okay but consider post Canon over protective Athena who is sick to death of her most devout being raped.
Athena sticking close to the whole family and promising penelope that she'll keep a close eye on odysseus the first time he has to go into the market and penelope can't go with him. (She was going to go anyway. She's never actually going to let any of them out of her sight ever again. And it's an easy promise to her dearest weaver who seems so distressed to have odysseus leaving her side.)
Athena fully manifesting in the market when someone grabs odysseus with godly flashes of snakes and owls and the drums of war to scream /release him/ (odysseus is feeling indulgent for both his patron and his wife it's so cute that they're this worried it's not like he couldn't defend himself just fine. Especially from whatever poor fuck just grabbed him who definitely doesn't deserve a goddess screaming in his face. Hes trying so hard not to laugh if he did athena would send him flying.)
Athena telling all the other gods that yes she knows odysseus is the favorite barbie doll she choose him well after all and to back the fuck off if any of them bother him again they will have made an enemy of her.
Athena disguising odysseus only as an old beggar from here on out instead of an irresistibly tall and handsome man. Because she saw how uncomfortable nausicaa's attention made him.
#The odyssey#Odysseus#Athena#Penelope#Nausicaa#Tw: rape#Tw:rape recovery#Tw: Calypso keeping odysseus as a sex slave for seven years#Tw: forced prostitution#See what happened with circe#I know in ancient Greek stories there's a lot of serial violence in various shapes and forms#But it seems like it happens more to athenas choosen/priestess/most devot#And it feels a little bit more targeted beyond it being a horrific violation#Like it's targeted towards Athena for her choice on being chaste#Which just adds another layer of fucked upness#And I've always felt like this contributes to Athena being cold#And at some point I imagine she'd get sick of it and course correct into overprotectivness from being cold#Headcanon that penelope goes a little bit insane when odysseus gets back (you're never allowed to leave my sight ever again )#(Don't worry it's mutual odysseus is into it he also never wants to leave his wife's side ever again)#Athena: standing protectively over odysseus in full god mood and hissing#Odysseus: not that this isn't an amazing ego boost but (and I can't believe you're making me be the voice of reason ) arent you overreactin#Odysseus: I mean you were never this protective when I was an actual literal child#Odysseus: or when I was fighting in an actual literally war fighting against gods and demi gods#Athena slightly embarrassed but is not sorry she sent whoever grabbed odysseus flying : SHUT UP#Love the fact that this whole group has the time and the support of each other to actually try to heal from their many many traumas#I know I did this in a slightly joking way but healing from abuse of power and violations are so important to me#Stories about healing in general#That's my jam#Anyway not tagging this as epic because of 1. Athena and odysseus's friendship break up#And 2. The change to circes story (which i actually like a lot! But still the odyssey Canon circe was also a sa situation.)
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it is absolutely so weird to me to try to imagine a version of geralt that is like, my age. like, no. get back to being an old man
#what the heck. my parents were never my age they were just spawned into the world in their 30s#i'm just kidding btw. geralt's not old. vesemir is old. but geralt is my old man#fun fact. for just about forever i thought that 'my old man' meant your father#like 'my old lady' can mean your mother#but 'my old man' actually means your husband or your lover#so when joni mitchell sang big yellow taxi. i totally misinterpreted that for my entire life#i cried to that song because of that#and funnily enough i learned the correct meaning also from her in her blue album#so yeah. i'm going to continually stubbornly use it the way i thought it#but only in contexts where it is obvious i'm talking about it in a father context#quite obviously#anyways. prequel.#young geralt is going to have less but way more worse and recent trauma#after we get this we will have to get regis: the young years where it is like 'dear diary tonight i drank so hard i threw up!'#'can't wait to do it all again tomorrow night and attempt to kill myself five times in a row!'#as i wrote that i also did think of regis re-enacting my favorite drew gooden vine#'dear diary... today i couldn't find my diary so i'm writing this on my two kung fu panda 2 dvds :)'#oh my god. wait. that is literally a philosophy regis shares#'e can easily replace what we don’t have with what we do!'#'it's simply a matter of invention and positive thinking :-)'#the elbow-high diaries#try not to make everything about emiel regis challenge (hard) (failed)
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No one is asking you to like cops IRL, not even the show. If you look at Arcane and what you see is copaganda, if you look at Cait and only see PoLiCe OfFiCeR and not the character, the problem is YOU.
1. I never said anyone asked me to like cops irl
2. I know that’s what I said.
#I was gonna make a long drawn out response specifying or whatever but the post is very self explanatory#idk if I see it as a#‘problem’ but like yeah that’s literally the point of the post#I already have to extend Grace sympathy and understanding to police irl being black in the south#I’m not doing it for a show I like for a character I tolerate#like the surface level analysis I do of Caitlyn has her as a well written character#I don’t care to delve any deeper than that unless it’s about how she interacts with or shapes characters I like lmao#And the characters I like are doing thing that I wish I could see more of irl#I think I made a post a while ago about how fandom as escapism for me is difficult bc the way I interact w/ media is shaped by my real life#and since fandom is majority white they just don’t get it and refuse to#this might be part of that#like idc about the redeemed bigot there’s enough of those in my spaces already#I’m sure they’re very sad and important and educational for you but I don’t care#one more time for anon I ME THATS JUST ME ALONE NOBODY ELSE JUST ME! I don’t care#uhm in conclusion cry about it?#WAAAAIT#I also never said arcane was copaganda#I quite literally specified my issues are w/ fans who can’t spare a single thought for a black characters that’s not ‘he’s so obsessed with#sad white girl 5’#again idc enough to think about the enforcers beyond what they mean to ekko or Mel#depends on s2 but so far#well now I’m thinking do I think it’s copaganda?#from a character standpoint maybe not but like any show that’s wants me to believe or root for a grown ass woman who didn’t realize cops#were bad. like there’s a lot of y’all irl but it’s a show yknow?#they diiid have that Caitlyn ekko fight and ekko was clearly correct but again the results of that are more fandom bias#um idk I’ll have to rewatch maybe! but I#did nooot say arcane was copaganda in the og post like I said I quite literally spoke on how I felt#oh but the way vi broke up that fight#hem hawwwww#conclusion vi wants to be copaganda for coochie but her common sense stops her from being completely stupid 💔 sad 💔
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side eyeing phannieconfessions for stating multiple times they don't want to publish overly mean-spirited anons and then deciding to publish obvious poly-phobic bait. i know it's like what was i doing at the devil's sacrament i know. but can this website go 1 day without saying something really mean about poly folks please like... just 1 day
#there rly is an issue with this type of bullying on here and on social media in general#and it really boils down to gay people pointing at other gay people and going#“haha look how weird they are. perverted moral deviants. not like me. im the Correct and Socially Acceptable kind of gay :)”#whole time there are people who want all of us dead. like shut up lmao. when will you people realize that#bullying people in relationships deemed “unconventional” or “weird” literally feeds into all forms of homophobia and transphobia#some of you are literally the meme of 2 gay people sitting on a tree branch and one of them is sawing the other person off#and then there's a conservative sawing both of them off. like what are you doing#part of me wants to just block phannieconfessions and never look at that blog again#but there are sometimes interesting or funny things on there so i feel compelled to keep checking it#even though it's fucking annoying sometimes#if i have something annoying to say then i will just say it on main and piss people off. as i am doing currently lmao#but i wanna see what kind of twisted shit you guys are too scared to say with your chest
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pre-holiday leave crumbs
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it#anyways. tomorrow I Travel#The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed#three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying)#goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn#anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours#until I gotta get up for car time#kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct#20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it#I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it#oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop#in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here#hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them)#also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl'#it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that#literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however#anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo#have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again#eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day
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You know… when I came out of Joker 2019 for the first time, my head was buzzing with delight over how the film managed to tell a story that served as a sort of ink-blot test for the viewer. A lot of people back then saw what they wanted to see out of it and it showed that from how many differing opinions people had about it and the central character of Arthur Fleck. Most movies are pretty much either universally loved or universally hated, but Joker managed to have subject matter that was ambiguously portrayed enough to sow the most contentious and divided audience perhaps ever seen in the history of film itself.
Joker 2 left me with a very similar feeling, but it was way more negative. And I’m going to have to take a lot of time to unpack that. But hey. I got all night.
#joker 2#joker folie a deux#like I literally cannot even decide in my mind if it was good or not!!! not the case the first time#but it’s very clear to me that it’s definitely-again-not as clear cut as the first was in terms of good/bad points#like I’ve already seen lots of opinions and I can’t honestly fault anyone for any of them but I don’t think the blanket judgements can be#taken seriously bc they’re also just not correct#it is truly… very fucking strange#if this was the intended effect you wanted to have on me todd. you succeeded
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Bruh
'These sounds are very rare in languages'
'These sounds are common in disordered speech'
I wonder if these 2 facts have anything to do with each other.
#Anyone who has a lisp or other 'speech disorder'#i am so fucking sorry for your natural variations in speaking being pathologised as something to be corrected#i literally just wondered 'whats the IPA for pronouncing p or m with your tongue instead of your lower lip'#and guess fucking what its not even on the standard IPA chart#i am literally making a sound with my mouth i cannot find in the INTERNATIONAL PHONTETIC ALPHABET#wikipedia at least has it#wtf#this is like the 3rd time ive looked up a sound example and the comments are full of#'oh this is a real sound? this is what my lisp sounds like i had speech therapy to stop making that sound!'#and similar sentiments#*screaming*#obligatory 'not every speech therapy is unnecessary or entirely due to pathologisation'#have a lisp and dont want to and go to a speech therapist to try and stop having one? awesome valid i love you#viewing a lisp as an inherent problem or illness that your or your child must have 'fixed'? *screaming again*#ableism#i forgot to put real tags sorry lol#cw ableism#jus in case
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when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving
i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.
Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.
Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.
However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.
#NORTH UR PFP THREW ME OFF I WAS LIKE HELLO RANDOM BLOG I WILL ELABORATE YES#but also hiiiii what are you doing for the rest of your life and can it be me#haha jk....unless?#i'm literally holding so much back lmao like i didn't even touch on Will's response and manipulation of that behavior#tdlr when i write top hannibal its always going to be him makin will come like 3 times before he even remembers to get off n i stand by tha#so so sorry for this but also i am not at all and am completely correct#top hannibal can be good#theres just an overabundance of sadist/power topping which doesn't always mesh well i feel like idk#that man is hungry in every possible way for Will and when youre starved you don't stop to see if youre full you eat until you can't#but then again what do i know i am a dom Will advocate at heart#be he gentle or not#teacupmotif#asks !
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it's so absolutely insane that the FR devs seem to be completely unaware that they are hitting the trust thermocline with the userbase re: recently (again) pushing really big art changes four months after release, after promising a hard 45-day window on significant alterations. like the issue isn't whether the art is good the issue is this is like the third time this has happened in the last few years. maybe fourth. how many times do they think they can do this before it seriously impacts whether new releases will continue to bring users (back) to the site.
#like they just. need to improve on this. they are ruining the userbase's ability to trust that what they see is what they get.#it doesn't really matter whether you like the change or not but like they literally said they wouldn't do this anymore after the last time#and just did it AGAIN and when ppl were upset they just posted like 'we said on the correction thread the change was pending!' like. ok.#i know plenty of ppl who make sure to save pics of new release dragons in case there's huge changes... argh.
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Came to the devastating realization that most of my fandom bitching is just "I don't like writing that misses the point of everything important about a character." Scalding hot take, I know.
#daily life with mercy#thank u rambling robot#I was gonna say 'i don't like bad writing' but I feel like it's unfair to talk about the quality of something people do on their own time#for fun#gonna try to remember this whenever I get a little too impassioned about a specific trope or whatever#because quite literally everything can work AT LEAST ONCE#There IS a story where it fits#but the execution is. Um. Well. It really does make or break it als;dfkj#and again always do whatever you want forever#there is no correct way to write fanfic#but yeah 99% of the time when I'm bitching about something that's supposedly A Problem#It's just that it's bad execution#or antithesis to the character adslf#no moral stance or weight to it I'm just like#“cool character you made. That's not the guy you're claiming he is but he's cool”
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